Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
