Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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