Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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