Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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