Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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