Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
