I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
only if we run a train.
done.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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