so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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