She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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