wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
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