A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
How external is "for external use only"?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
