i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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