some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
