DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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