great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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