You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
