You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
