Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
