Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
