Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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