S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
