Do vagina's smell?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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