I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
