The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
