Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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