just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
