Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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