She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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