So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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