just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
