Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
