why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
