even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
How external is "for external use only"?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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