She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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