Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
