I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Randomize
