I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
