he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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