...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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