For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Your penis caused this!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
