Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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