i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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