FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
