Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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