shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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