then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
