God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
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