he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
