...so i touched it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
