Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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