is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
pray to the hookup gods
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