But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
