oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
