you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
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