your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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