Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I want to stick my p in your. b.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
