You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize