she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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