***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
You smell like stripper and shame
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize