you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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