next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
