I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You can't motorboat a personality
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
