dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
